As the host of a feminist radio program, I
recently had the opportunity to interview a formerly homeless woman who now
lives in a social housing complex built especially for women like her. Cindy is
an aboriginal woman who has lived homeless on-and-off for a large part of her adult
life.
Cindy’s long, stringy hair is black and grey
with split ends. She’s a short woman with big brown eyes and a lifetime worth
of wrinkles, although I’d estimate she’s only in her late 40’s. She looks like
someone who’s lived a hard life.
Like so many homeless women, Cindy became
homeless after fleeing abusive relationship. She stayed with her abuser for
years despite the fact that she knew he was no good. She relied on him for
income and was terrified to report his abuse to the police, for fear he’d be jailed
for a night and then return to her angrier and more violent. “You can ask me or
any other homeless woman why we stayed with those men” she said, “and we’ll all
tell you that we’d rather be in a relationship with an abusive man than be out
there on the streets by ourselves.”
She was stuck between two terrible options:
stay and be abused, or leave and be homeless. Eventually things became so bad
she had no choice but to run away and the price she paid was living on the
streets of Calgary. Homeless women face a myriad of challenges above and beyond
the struggles experienced by homeless men. There are few shelters exclusively for women
and mixed shelters are an uninviting place. Homeless women are at great risk
for sexual and physical violence – both on the street and within a homeless
shelter.
Matters are further complicated and
challenging if the woman has children. She doesn’t want them in a shelter
environment and she certainly doesn’t want the authorities to notice them for
fear the children will be apprehended. That’s a big reason why so many women
stay in abusive relationships, or live as “concealed homeless” people – those
who sleep on a friend’s couch, in a family member’s basement or live out of a
car.
Cindy’s life changed when she decided to join
a program at the YWCA that aimed to teach homeless women life skills. “I took
every program they offered” she said, “I wanted them to see that I really
wanted things to change.” She dedicated herself to the program and was
eventually chosen as a candidate for The Ophelia – an apartment complex with
subsidized rent for homeless women trying to get their lives back together.
Cindy and 14 other women live independently at
The Ophelia, although the YWCA is there to provide support when they need it.
Time and time again, Cindy told me that although having a safe place to live is
incredibly important, it’s the ongoing support from the YWCA staff that’s
making this a successful transition for her. “They call me and make sure I’m OK,
ask me if I need anything. I would have lost that apartment twice already if
they weren’t there to support me.”
Her statement reinforces the fact that you
can’t put homeless people in a housing complex and leave them alone expecting
them to thrive. Ongoing support is needed to deal with the mental and emotional
issues that need to be addressed. “Now I have the time and space to deal with
all kinds of stuff I haven’t over the years” says Cindy. “I’ve been given a
chance to work on myself. I’ve never had time to focus on me before. I am so
grateful.”
The YWCA’s program is built on the “Housing
First” model, where homeless people are first placed into safe, appropriate
housing and then being to work on the issues that caused them to become
homeless. In Cindy’s own words, she is now trying to “learn how to be a
straight person.” Her goals include getting a job and eventually moving out of
The Ophelia so that another deserving woman can take her place.
Cindy is an incredible survivor, and a great
example of how lives can change with little bit of support and security.
